A few years ago, I would have never thought to dedicate a blog post to friendship. After all, we had many friends we stayed in touch with over email, fellow cruisers we ran into again, and new people we met in different harbors. As I have alluded to in previous blogs, the one fallback about house and pet sitting – and being on the move from one more or less isolated home to the next – is that Mark and I lack social interaction. It was an important fact I pointed out in my recent interview with Kristin of Wayward Home. Sure, we sometimes meet neighbors and might nod our heads at one another. Recently, we were even invited to dinner at the house across the street in Albuquerque. A first! It was a nice surprise and evening. But, all our current friendships are treasured via the internet. Outlook, Facebook, blog comments, Skype calls; that’s where my social life happens. Mark, who isn’t on social media, has even less interactions.
BFFs on my bachelorette party in SXM
Luckily, most of our friends are travelers. This means they might find themselves in the same area where we secured a house sit. When that happens, good times are had. New life directions are exchanged in person and wonderful memories are shared! Those are the best times, and I’m grateful for them.
Santa Fe – Karmen and Tom
On the first weekend of our current house sit in Santa Fe, our boating friends Karmen and Tom drove through the area on their way from Oregon to Florida, where they bought a used catamaran (inspired by us) instead of another monohull. Big was our surprise when they showed up in their Mercedes Sprinter van!
Then: In St. Martin, where we hung out with them during two cruising seasons, and where photographer Karmen took pre-wedding photos of Mark and I.
Now: We convinced our friends to stay two nights, allowing us a day of explorations in Pecos National Monument. There wasn’t a dull moment.
San Diego – Alex and Dave
While we never ran into these Canadian boaters/Rvers on their sailboat Banyan, we heard lots about them from other sailors, and we met them in Annapolis through a communal friend, when they traveled around in their Leisure Van. We stayed in touch and our plans aligned to have Christmas together at our house sit in San Diego.
Then: Meeting Alex and Dave, and sailing friend Mark, in Annapolis, while we were there for the sailboat show, representing our product, The Wirie.
Now: Or better, recently: Celebrating Christmas with our friends in Southern California.
Christmas Day with friends Alex and Dave (photo courtesy David McDonald)
San Diego – Amy and dog Skylos
I’ve mentioned Amy in a few of my San Diego blogs, so she might not need an introduction. But, I’m not sure I ever mentioned how we met. Mark and I ran into a group of young RVers back in 2006, in Antigua, Guatemala – a rare occurrence. Amy and her husband Aaron (and their two dogs Cora and Skylos) were one of those couples. Aaron, unfortunately, died in a fishing accident a year later, but Skylos is still Amy’s trusty companion.
Then: Meeting other youngsters in Antigua, and later at a villa Amy and Aaron rented in Nicaragua.
Now: Or better, recently: Meeting up with Amy multiple times in San Diego, where she lives. We might house and pet sit for her in the future.
Florida – Rosie and Sim
I have to add my best friend and her husband to this post. She has been there for me through good times and bad times, we talk on Skype once a week, and she means the world to me. Rosie and Sim still live on their sailboat Wandering Star (to which they upgraded from SV Alianna, the boat they sailed on when we met in the Caribbean in 2010), now in Grenada. They are British and have been cruising for well over a decade. Whenever they found themselves in the US, we made an effort to meet up.
Then: So many happy hours and shared adventures in the Caribbean. Rosie was my maid-of-honor during our wedding party in St. Martin in 2011. Too many photos to pick from!
Now: Or better, not too recently: Spending Christmas 2015 together during our house sit in The Villages, and New Year’s Eve on their boat in Vero Beach. This is the last time we saw them.
When I reminisce on those tropical days full of smiles and laughs, hanging out with friends, I have to admit to missing the sailing life – especially in the Eastern Caribbean – just a little bit.
To see my other “Then and Now” posts, click here. I posted flashbacks and comparisons about Relaxation, Sunset, Fall, Thanksgiving, Yoga, My Birthday and Christmas.
Are you able to maintain your friendships? How?
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April 25, 2018 at 10:50
Apart from my best friend with me. I mainly use messenger or emails. Not a big user of Skype though Les is and he will chat for hours with his brother. We are very self contained and don’t have a big need to socialise though having said that when we get the opportunity to be with friends and family we love it. We love housesitting and no matter what lifestyle we all chose it will never be perfect. Good post Liesbet and hope all’s well with you.
April 29, 2018 at 06:17
Hi Suz! Having your best friend with you is the best! Based on your house sitting blogs, you two go out and about often, and you seem to meet people like that. A chat here and there goes a long way. The fact that we sit behind our computers all day, every workday, probably doesn’t help our social skills. 🙂 In general, we’re quite happy on our own, but it is always nice to see familiar faces, which guarantees a good time. We are doing OK. Hope you guys are happy and healthy back in the UK!
April 29, 2018 at 07:22
Hi Liesbet, yes all going well here. Even managed a walk this morning without getting drenched 🙂 I sometimes think that there is a societal pressure to always be “social”, whereas many people are quite happy by themselves though still love socialising. The ones of us who do have their best friend with them, makes life much easier. Don’t get me wrong when we are housesitting we try to have time in different rooms LOL, I love having me time especially to blog etc 🙂 Plus girl time, I do miss that!!
April 29, 2018 at 12:16
I love me time! And, I do miss girl time as well. While I used to not want to miss out on anything, when we were sailing, I appreciate quiet time now. Plus, I’ve gotten to know the human race a bit better (running your own business, driving on US roads, and going on a recent tour does that), and a lot of it has made me bitter, and not antsy to hang out with others…
April 25, 2018 at 11:33
Someone once told me that I should consider myself fortunate if, over my lifetime, I am able to count my close friendships on one hand. I’ve always believed that, probably because I’m the kind of person who loves in-depth conversations and those don’t tend to happen with just anybody and without some history of trust and mutual regard. So, in real life, I have a few very close friends that I talk with often.
By the way, it seems to me that, housesitting or not, you are a very fortunate woman. Your friendships are deep enough that they able to sustain years of absence. That says a lot about who you are as a friend.
April 29, 2018 at 08:50
Thanks for your kind and supportive comments, as always, Karen! I think (close) friendships are a two-way street, and some of them require a little bit of “effort” staying connected, especially when you live relatively far away from each other. That being said, I have friends in Belgium I don’t email with for a year and when I show up in the summer, it’s like I just left and we continue our friendship and conversations where we left off the year before.
You are fortunate with those friends, but I also think that it has to do with your wonderful and caring personality and desire to remain in touch, not just with “luck”. I hear you about those in-dept conversations. That’s where acquaintences turn into friends. 🙂
And, you’re right, I have no complaints about friends in my life, just that there is not a lot of personal contact (laughing), living or traveling at opposite sides of the world. I remember days on our sailboat, where I often spent a whole morning replying to emails from (boating) friends, between the amount of letters and the crappy internet. 🙂 All that is made easier while house sitting. Time-wise and internet-wise.
April 25, 2018 at 12:14
You are indeed rich in friends, Liesbet and I am happy to call myself one of yours! And of course, we “met” through a mutual blogger friend from San Diego. It can be a small world with a world full of friends!
April 29, 2018 at 08:51
Agreed! The blogging world sure has opened up a whole bunch of opportunities and new friendships! 🙂 I think I found Janis’ blog through my sailing friend Lisa, and the rest is history!
April 25, 2018 at 12:29
Looks you are high in quality of friendship Liesbet, if low in quantity. You have made a good choice, or ended up with the better option, in my opinion.
April 29, 2018 at 06:29
Thanks for that great insight, Denzil. As with most things in my life, I prefer quality above quantity. 🙂
April 25, 2018 at 12:42
I loved this post, Liesbet! So many happy people…that’s what friendship is all about. My mother always told me you’re blessed if you have one true friend in your lifetime. I’ve been very fortunate to have several, Derek being the first. My longest friendship goes back 45 years…yikes…that makes sound really old. 🙂 We met when we were 8 years-old and even though we live in different states, our friendship has stayed strong.
April 29, 2018 at 06:34
Those kinds of friendships are worth their weight in gold, Jill. Isn’t that another valuable expresssion. 🙂 When I was looking through my photos, and I saw those smiles and remembered the amazing times we had, I felt happy and sad at the same time. Bittersweet memories, as our paths split up, but will certainly merge again one day.
April 25, 2018 at 12:43
I agree with the other commenters, Liesbet. You have very rich friendships. I am also very fortunate to be one of them. It was Janis (Retirementally Challenged) who first recommended your blog to me. One of the earliest posts that I read you talked about the social isolation that house and pet sitting can bring. Despite some barriers that your current lifestyle may throw at you, you are an awesome, engaging and loyal friend. I have my fingers crossed that we are able to meet up again soon.
April 29, 2018 at 06:37
Hi Donna! Thank you for your kind words. I feel fortunate to have added you to my circle of friends, and we will certainly try to meet up again this summer or fall!
I remember that post about the isolation, when we were in Rocklin, in the suburbs of Sacramento, one winter. It was the first time I realized we felt a bit “lost”. That experience has not really repeated itself, luckily, as we’ve been house sitting in more inspiring areas, with friends traveling through since then.
April 25, 2018 at 14:57
Lots of lovely, happy people! I followed the link to your wedding post too: gorgeous.
April 29, 2018 at 09:53
Every time I go through my photos of the Caribbean for one blog or another article, I stumble across all those smiling faces, Anabel. It was such a different time! So, I was long due to dedicate a post to those happy moments. Thanks for checking out the wedding post. It was a very special occasion, still cherished and celebrated every year. Tomorrow, as a mater of fact! 🙂
April 25, 2018 at 15:29
Hi Liesbet
This is awesome! I realize there are times when you lack the physical interaction with people and have to rely on the internet, but the friends you have met and made are awesome and share your enthusiasm for the life you have chosen. What a wonderful gift
Laura
April 29, 2018 at 09:50
Hi Laura, thank you for your sweet and insightful comment! Based on that, I’m sure you are surrounded with wonderful friends as well! I do love the fact that most of my friends understand the life we have chosen and that we have the travel bug in common. 🙂
April 25, 2018 at 16:00
I love the Then and Now pictures as well as the stories. Long-time friendships are so satisfying… you don’t have to introduce yourself or give any background information. They already know all of that and you can just start again where you left off. You are indeed fortunate to have friends around the world.
April 29, 2018 at 08:59
Ooow, thanks Janis. When I first started traveling, I was disappointed with my Belgian friends about showing no interest in my lifestyle, and about not staying in touch. Soon, the longer I was on the road, the more like-minded people I met and the more friendships were created and maintained. I found myself (too) busy being a social butterfly with emails, and now with blog comments. Friendships sure are valuable and I appreciate everyone in my (real and virtual) life! I’m so glad you and I got to hang out and get to know each other a bit better while I was in San Diego.
April 25, 2018 at 16:28
Wonderful friendships you have, Liesbet! Thanks for sharing your Then and Now stories and photos. I’m fortunate to have several long lasting friendships. We stay connected by email, phone calls, and visits. I travel more often than most of my friends so I try to add a visit when I can.
April 29, 2018 at 09:01
Based on what I have been reading on your blog and in your comments, you are a fortunate woman as well, having friends all over the world. While that is awesome and oh so diverse and fascinating, it is also harder to keep the friendships maintained, especially with meetings. You are one to do effort to keep those friendships going, which is so awesome!
April 25, 2018 at 17:47
We are truly Thankful to have you and Mark in our lives! Cheers to our long term friendship! 😀
April 29, 2018 at 09:02
Thank you, Anonymous! 🙂 We hope you’re having a quick and satisfying stay back in Oregon. And, that you can return to the boat real soon. Love you guys!
April 25, 2018 at 18:10
You have always been very supportive of my posts….and really I just started reading about your experiences in your travels. Our blogs have no resemblance but our thoughts do… I’ve wanted to write and have a few things to write about but how do you find that time? Or rather how do you carve time out to write? You are an inspiration!
Yaz
April 29, 2018 at 09:31
Hi Yaz! Thanks for swinging by, reading and commenting! It’s so hard to prioritize in our busy lives, right? I guess what I have going for me (on any level, except the financially) is that I don’t have a normal, full-time job.
I juggle my time between our business, the house and pet sitting duties and connections, a blog post once a week, maintaining social contacts by email, leaving comments and reading blogs of people I take an interest in, house hold chores, grocery shopping, camper projects, translation jobs as they come in, and… writing my memoir.
This last task has priority right now, with every morning during the week focused on it. Not always easy, because often, emergencies in the other fields arise. I guess, you have to make time for the writing, and I find that blocking off a couple of hours a day, around the same time of the day works easiest. The negative is that I’m not able to write articles anymore (and make money that way) and that I find my blog posts lacking in quality, because most of my energy goes towards the book right now.
April 26, 2018 at 07:03
What a sweet post 🙂 I love the then and now photos. I consider myself lucky to have met so many fabulous and interesting people thru our travels.
April 29, 2018 at 09:39
The nice thing about meeting people through our travels is that there is common ground, there is always stuff to talk about, and, when it clicks, you can become friends for life. 🙂 I’m sure and glad you know what I mean. 🙂
April 26, 2018 at 15:42
I have friends of so, so long ago – just a few, but they are irreplaceable. I’m glad you have this tradition too, Liesbet!
April 29, 2018 at 09:40
I guess you and I could call ourselves fortunate, or… social and determined to maintain existing friendships. And, happy to realize the importance thereof. 🙂
April 27, 2018 at 00:18
Liesbet, this is a lovely tribute to your special friends. I feel very blessed to have some amazing friends, few that have been there for over 40 years and we go as far back as our school years. I am a very social person, I love the company of people. I also have two lovely sisters who I absolutely adore. It is such a treasure to have good friends😄
April 29, 2018 at 09:42
I’m glad you are surrounded by caring friends and family, Gilda. That’s such a treasure. I’ve always been envious to siblings that remain close throughout adulthood. It’s so nice that you have two sisters who belong in that category (just like my best friend has). No sisters for me, only a brother who has a totally different life and totally different interests. 🙂
April 27, 2018 at 10:21
Liesbet, although I have not the kind of travelling lifestyle that you have had, I have moved many times over the years – 23times to be exact. I have been a little more settled since turning thirty, but even so, I have moved every five years since age 30, on average. I have lived in ten different communities (some of those 23 moves were within or back to the same town/city). That does not include places I have stayed in for weeks or months while travelling. So that means I have made friends in different places, and happily, have kept in touch with many of them. I am lucky to have several best friends, and other than Rob, none of them live where I am now. So I really understand the loneliness of being far away from one’s friends, and the joy of being able to meet up and visit. In between visits, regular phone calls keep our friendships close.
Jude
April 29, 2018 at 09:47
Wow, Jude, you have moved a lot. I see how you can understand our little predicament! That’s almost comparable to house and pet sitting throughout the country. So, how did it feel returning to communities and areas you lived before? Must be a little bit like coming back home, or doing return house sits for us. The main difference is that you lived in these places long enough to establish and maintain friendships. The negative is the hassle of moving all your stuff, resettling and starting over again. When we settle at a new home, we’re done in a couple of hours. That makes “moving” really easy. Yet, because of our work situation, we don’t want to swap places too often, as it becomes exhausting, and the drive/travel between houses doesn’t often happen over the weekends. What would we do without phones (Skype for me), right?
May 1, 2018 at 18:37
They say we meet people for reasons, and some for seasons. I believe those who come back into our lives again were meant to be and not just for the season. 🙂
May 2, 2018 at 06:17
I like that expression, Debby. I guess the people who are in our lives for reasons, I will call friends. And, the ones touching our lives for a season, I’ll call acquaintances. 🙂
May 2, 2018 at 01:26
This is a timely post for me, as I realized this past weekend that I’ve lost touch with too many of my local friends. As life gets busier, and especially with a new relationship attracting my attention, it’s all too easy to let things slide.
Will definitely be rectifying that right away.
May 2, 2018 at 06:22
New relationships are exciting and time consuming. 🙂 Busy times are good and bad. I’m sure you’re being extremely productive and you are following a career path you love, but time flies and there’s never enough of it. Finding a balance, juggling the writing, events, relationship, household chores, friends, and family is tough. But, you’ll manage! 🙂
May 8, 2018 at 23:30
Thanks, Liesbet. I hope so! No choice, right?
May 9, 2018 at 11:16
No choice… when time is pressured and diminished…
May 2, 2018 at 09:20
It may seem silly but I prefer the quiet life. Friends come and go and life goes on. Looks like you have mastered keeping in touch. 🙂
Anna from elements of emaginette
May 3, 2018 at 14:13
I appreciate your thoughts on this, Anna, and I totally understand. We prefer the quiet life as well, but sometimes crave for human interaction after weeks of having none. We don’t have friends or acquaintances around wherever we go, and have been living together 24/7 for many years. 🙂
May 2, 2018 at 16:31
Here here to friendship be it via social media or if lucky in person. Always lovely to connect with friends, those we call our special tribe!
We find that we have different “profiles” of friends.. those that are long term or childhood friends, and others that pass in and out of life and then of course new friends. All make for a colorful and rich bouquet of human connections.
Peta
May 3, 2018 at 14:39
I was just thinking the same the other day, Peta, how we could categorize our friends. You call them profiles. Clever! I agree that Mark and I have different levels of friendships, just like you and Ben, and the whole group together is something we are happy about and proud of. Prrrrrecious!